“Write her a letter.” She suggested  

I don’t think I can. I don’t think I can do that knowing she can’t write me back.” I said. 

“But you knew her, and because you knew her so deeply, you know exactly what she would say to you.” She replied 

My counselor was right. I did know what my grandmother would say, but it didn’t make writing that letter any easier. 

This morning, before I could get the sleep out my eyes, a thought raced through my mind and convicted my heart. I’ve grown to know God deeply – to know His heart, to understand His character, to be able to trace His hand – and maybe there are some areas of my life I don’t pray about because I know what He will say. I know what He will say, and I’m not sure I’m ready to respond. 

I know His ways are good, but I don’t always want to obey His direction. 

I know His love is unconditional, but I don’t always accept His discipline. 

I know He is all-knowing, but I still sometimes question His declarations. 

There are so many things that I know and believe about Him. My apprehension sneaks in when I look back at me. Things get shaky when I start to think about how I will respond to this remarkable God. 

Writing a letter to my grandmother scared me. I knew the flood of emotions that would come as soon as I put a pen down on paper. But my grandmother not responding isn’t what terrified me, her not being there to console me did. 

Maybe it’s not God’s answer we are looking for. Maybe what we really need is confidence that He will be there, after our response, when the wave of emotions hit us. 

God will be there. Whatever He has asked you to do, when you respond, He will be there. 

If you know what He will say, it’s because He has already spoken – to your heart, through His Word, by means of His people. Which means you are responsible for obeying. If He said it, you can believe it. He will deliver. He keeps His promises. He won’t fail you. So, instead of praying for an answer, pray about your response. Ask God how He would have you to respond to the good that He has waiting for you. 

Prayer: God, there are areas in our lives where we know you have good gifts waiting on us, but we are struggling to respond because we are worried about the change that those gifts will bring. Forgive us for not bringing our concerns to You. Today we shift our prayers; we aren’t asking you to speak and give an answer. We are asking you to prepare our hearts to respond to whatever it is you have to say. In these areas, we aren’t asking you to change your mind; we ask You to change our hearts. Shift our desires if you have to. We don’t want to miss out on the good gifts you have for us due to fear and disobedience. May Your will be done, may You get the glory, and may lives be forever changed. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.