I’ve scrolled past several posts on social media with introverts expressing their excitement over the regulated (or strongly suggested) social distancing and potential quarantines. For a while I was confused, wondering why I didn’t have the same feelings. I’m an introvert, and the idea of social distancing has given me more anxiety than excitement. This is what I know about myself; I recharge in isolation, but it’s not healthy for me to live there. I am a highly relational introvert. I need people – not just via video screens and voice messages – I need to do life with people…in the flesh.

I realize many of my feelings are attributed to my stage of life (which I celebrate). As a single woman, this is what life often looks like for me:

• Meals are usually at home alone (I’m very appreciative of the quiet and to not have to appease anyone else’s taste buds but my own!)
• Hugs and sincere “how are you doing’s” typically take place on Sunday mornings at church (thank God for the local church)
• I work by myself from home/coffee shops 3-4 days a week (I’m grateful for the flexibility it offers me)
• My family lives in California and I’m in Texas. Celebrations such as birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays are often acknowledged via video calls. (Living in another state has afforded me great opportunities and helped me to appreciate the presence of my family even more!)
• I spend a lot of time wrestling with my thoughts (I think I’ve grown to know myself pretty well!)

While I understand the value of time alone, social distancing has a direct impact on my community. This community, for the most part, exists outside the walls of the physical space I live in. My life has built-in alone time, so I am more moved by the celebration of community than the separation of it.  

Right before I wrote this post, I came across Annie Down’s Instagram story. Annie Downs, also a single woman, is an author that I love and follow. She is so much fun! But she’s also honest about sharing when life is tough. Today, life was tough for Annie. Her friend was diagnosed with the Coronavirus, and because she was with her recently, Annie is on a 10-day quarantine. She has permission to take a walk by herself in her neighborhood twice a day. But apart from that, she is to stay in her home. She was broken, there were tears in her eyes and I almost cried with her. Because she isn’t the only one. And for some, life felt like this before social distancing and quarantines. The truth is, regardless of our personality type, relationship status, or season of life, we are all built with an innate longing to be known and to belong. While we may want space to ourselves, we aren’t designed to long to be alone physically, emotionally or spiritually for long periods of time.

So…

After this “social distancing” wave passes, I hope we value the gift of each other a little more. I hope that in the slowing down and interruptions of our day-to-day norms, we learn to appreciate the things (or people) that we tend to take for granted.

To my married and/or extroverted readers: check on your single friends (never married, widowed, or divorced). We aren’t built to do life alone.

To my single and/or introverted readers: Run to community. Don’t resist it. Recharge in isolation but don’t live in that space.

I’m going to enjoy the slower pace of life for however long it lasts. There will be a lot of recharging and reflecting. I plan to make time to do some things I’ve been putting on the back burner. When I can, I’ll get out and spend time with friends. I will be excited when the doors of my church home are open, and when airline operations are back to normal. I’ll be glad when events and celebrations take place without the presence of fear, and when together also means there are hugs, handshakes, and high fives.

Our presence matters to each other. We are stronger together than we are alone and in the coming days, I hope we see that clearer than we ever have before.